Listening to God changes what you pray for…

For two years, I have prayed that we would conceive.   I prayed that this treatment or that would take.  I’ve had doctors show me mature ovarian follicles on ultrasound and then not be able to explain why we didn’t get pregnant.  The answer is that there is no Earthly explanation.  These things are beyond our control.  All the technology in the world is not as powerful as what God wants for us.

ovarian follicle

I prayed to God for guidance and asked that he lead us down a path to pregnancy.  Almost immediately a friend introduced me to NaProTechnology.  My endometriosis and grain allergy were discovered.  I was on the path to better health and what seemed like pregnancy.  Again, more than once, my doctor was puzzled about why conception wasn’t happening.

TTC

I know with absolute certainty that I am being called to motherhood.  Who else could have an amazing husband, 4 dogs, a full time teaching career, and still desperately feel an emptiness in her life that only a child can fill?  Why would I have been steered on to NaProTechnology if I weren’t meant to be a mother?  Even if we haven’t conceived after almost a year of working with NaPro, I am certainly healthier than I have ever been because of NaPro.  Looking back on my health a year ago, I don’t think that I would have been healthy enough to become a mom just a year ago.

I know that finding NaPro was part of God’s plan for me.  I’m just not sure that pregnancy is.  I’m not giving up on pregnancy, I’m just finally ready to recognize that it may not be part of God’s plan for me.  I don’t know if God is calling me to adopt, I know that I need to honor the fact that he may be doing so.

adoption

Like many women, I’ve been so desperate to conceive that I’ve looked for signs of pregnancy around every corner.  Each month as it becomes time to try again, I keep looking for signs and changes.  I couldn’t see any.  What I did see was a hidden support network for adoption that was quietly waiting for me to recognize it.  There’s a woman at my church who is both a foster mom and an adoptive mom, another friend of mine was adopted by relatives, a co-worker of mine is an adoptive mom who swears that her children are her biggest blessings.  It seems that God has given us a support system to guide us on this next phase of our journey.

Adoption is not something we pulled out of the sky, rather it’s something that we believed we would do later on in our lives.  We’re both young and don’t envision ourselves having an “empty nest” in our 50’s.  Since we’re in our 30’s at the moment, and I see children who are in need every day, adopting a child in need is something that we decided to do long ago.   And now, we find ourselves needing that child as much as he or she needs us.

baby steps to big dreams

This doesn’t mean we’re going to stop pursuing pregnancy, it just means that we have signed up as a foster to adopt family.  We are recognizing that there is more than one way to answer God’s call to parenthood.

So, I’ve changed what I’m praying for.  I used to pray that God would help us to get pregnant.  Now I pray that God will bless us with a child.

2 thoughts on “Listening to God changes what you pray for…

  1. Beautiful article. Thanks for being open to God’s plan for you whatever it might be. If you are called to motherhood, do trust God will provide accordingly. It is only a matter of trusting God’s plan and His perfect timing.

    I was diagnosed with endometriosis in my early 20’s and had surgery for it. I am now 39 years old and soon to be married. As much as I would like to become a mother, I know my chances of getting pregnant are very low. However, I am placing my complete trust in God and allowing Him to have the last word on the matter. If we are not blessed with children, we are definitely open to adoption. We just need to believe that all things that God allows (good and bad) are always for a good reason. Thy will be done always!

    Young lady, I will keep you in my prayers. For nothing is impossible to God.

    • I love how we are able to support each other. I will pray that you are able to build your family. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of NaProTechnology, it’s the reproductive science that we’re using. It is responsible for all of the improvements in my health over the last year. I still have some pain, but it has gone from excruciating to barely noticeable. If you are interested in conceiving naturally, I highly recommend it. A friend of my is currently pregnant thanks to NaPro. She’s due on Thanksgiving day. May God bless you on your journey! Love, Catherine

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